Billy & Me Quest for Eats

26-27 Lisle Street, London, WC2H 7BA
Telephone: 0871 0752925

I’ve been reading Orbital by Ian Sinclair recently and so have decided to do this blog in the style of a near-random-train-of-thought. I’ll just keep typing for a few minutes and when I stop for more than 3 seconds I’ll post it up unedited. How exciting…

Searching for food through London’s cheaper options. Behind bars. Corridors of greying brick; having stood accepted for years are now upstaged by gaudier new rivals. Amongst the last of these narrow passages. Kintaro. Dodging black-cabs. Shuffling restuaranters. Chinatown’s attic where the backward cousins live. A bucket of fishheads a week. Sushi to our western palates. And all the more agreeable for it. Crammed seats. German sharp words hitting the ribs and nudging the headrest. Bento ordered and delivered. Wasabi hot. Miso revitalising. Mackerel swimming in sweet Terkiyaki like some Lea survivor pushing to the freedom of the Thames. Freedom just means you have no choices left. Tea and beer in equal quantities. The great bridge between East and West was beneath our feet all along!!! The bottoms of our glasses just obscured it. How were we to know; nurtured on Hawksmoor, Constantine and sarnies? This new wave no/know better. Memorising phonetic codes and suggestions to validate ties and shiny shoes. Asahi! Kirn! Stella!?!?!!?!! You know only compromise. But compromise is good enough surely; if the new natives do it. If their standards are trustworhty and they surely are then there is no argument. None. It passes all tests. Imported qualities of vim and vigour for our pallid euro forms. Beers offered to suit every adventure, every fear. Quantities for my invertebrate friend. Best Value!!! Recommended.

Billy: 6
Eoin: 8
Googlemap here

I’m unsure if it indicates the enticing nature of this surprisingly large Indian in this small Welsh town or the lack of any alternatives but the scent of their kitchen drew us in from three streets away. Having had a similar time again; being turned away from three restaurants who (of course!!!) do not serve any food after 8 in the evening and having turned ourselves away from two particularly dodgy pubs where the locals stopped the dusty tape deck to stare as we ventured over the mantle of the door;

The service, as is common in East Aisan restaurants, was polite and curt. On a tangent. this prompted a conversation concerning the relative manners of different eateries from different cultures; the typical overbearing servitude of Americans, the well-mannered and clipped nicities of East Asian curry houses, and the wide spectrum of manners in European establishments; ranging from the perfect blend of distance and informal humour to the downright rude. As we swapped stories of reasons for skipping out without paying we were presented with a good sized menu of interesting dishes.

I opted for the lamb gohst and our companion for the biryani with chicken and, oddly, potatoes. There was, of course, …. selection of beers; a pint of Cobra or a half pint of Cobra. After some deliberation we selected the former.

The meals were well presented; kept warm on small grills. the gohst was a standard fare and perfectly fine. I had tentatively asked for it to be served hot; something that, from the Brick Lane curry houses, usually has me weeping with every toilet visit for days afterward. Here, while it was perfectly tasty, it was milder than Clark Kent visiting his in-laws. The biryani was quite unusual in that the sauce was served seperately so the diner could add it as required to what was essentially fried rice. I wonder if this reflects on the local folks’ taste or the perception of us as muddy booted sun kissed stoopido tourists… which wouldn’t be too far off the mark.

Billy: 7
Eoin: 6

Google map location is here

Papageno Restaurant
29-31 Wellington Street
London WC2E 7DB
Look for their map here: http://www.papagenorestaurant.com/contactus.htm

“It’s called chronic healing.. it’s all about meditation and your chakras; it’s very important to meditate every day” the words come repeated again and again and AGAIN from the table beside us… All delivered in the most ‘fingernails being drawn slowly over a blackboard’ of eastern US accents. Yet, even this (nor the slightly sinisiter extra from the Soprano’s eyeing my companion) can detract from the sheer opulent delight to be found in our surroundings.

Papageno is just plain fun.

Tacky gold wraps of material, gold painted exposed pipes, and sprayed gold classical instruments cleverly disguise peeling walls and filthy brickwork. It’s a delight visually.

… and the food ain’t bad either. I had the Big Boss Seafood Selection (I shit you not; I was the biggest boss of all) for starters with the Monkfish for my main course. It reminded me very much of Eastern European fare; very simple dishes served up to a reasonably good quality. Nothing particularly praiseworthy in either skill or innovation. I think the only thing that really bothers me about this style of food (which, to be fair, almost always leaves me satisfied) is that it can only ever be so good. New potatoes, monkfish and steamed vegtables reach their taste event horizon at a an early stage and, once the bill over-reaches that mark, I start getting annoyed.

Papageno cuts it very close but, with the surroundings being as ludicrous as they are, we can forgive it.

Billy: 7
Eoin: 7

The Delhi Brasserie
44 Frith Street
London
W1D 4SB

Well… you can’t beat the tableside entertainment at least…

Oddly the Europride festival was timed exactly alongside the England match in the World Cup. It was difficult to tell who was who as virtually everyone there was a barechested male skinhead… We took to spotting either Red Bull or Stella Artois in their hands, which was a reliable method. See: http://www.flickr.com/photos/waxydan/180575295/

The food that arrived was perfectly adaquete; prompt, plentiful and fairly tasty, as you can see…

… but nothing to really write home about.

So I won’t.

Billy: 6
Eoin: 5

Wong Kei’s
41-43 Wardour Street
London
W1D 6PY

“No visit to London is complete without at least one visit to the Wong Kei.”: Rob - Monday, December 05, 2005

“I have been coming to this restaurant on and off for nearly 30 years. “: David Gower - Tuesday, November 15, 2005

“If you go to London, you can forget to visit Buchingam Palace, Trafalgar Square or Downing Street,but you can’t forget to visit Wong Key Restaurant”#: Andrea - Saturday, November 12, 2005

“The best chinese restaurant. I eat in wong key restaurant a lot of time when I lived in London”: Andrea - Saturday, November 12, 2005

(quotes taken from http://www.london-eating.co.uk/2971.htm)

“All of the above people are idiots” Billy. 12/01/2006

I’ve been told Wong Kei’s is something of a London institution. One of those famous places that you bring your out-of-town mates too as a London novelty. You know, like the Eye, or the Tate Modern, or Brick Lane, or some Soho back alley mired with cat urine, smelly leaking bin bags, and a plate of what could somewhere be termed food… ‘cause really you may as well go there rather than pay for anything in Chinatown.

The rudeness of the staff, I’m told with good authority, is an amusing side to eating here. I haven’t found the staff to be particularly rude; just as bored and dismissive as in most other establishments in Chinatown. Certainly not rude enough to be unique and definitely not enough to entertain.

The food is dull and tasteless. I do like my soya and chilli condiments, but shouldn’t have to rely on them so heavily. So why do I keep going back? There is a simple reason as to why I enjoy eating in Chinatown (and no, it’s never been the food); it’s that I get to rant and bitch about it for months after the fetid experience. Unfortunately, when I’ve had a few and I’m in the area and peckish (and for some unknown reason can’t find Misato) I forget this simple fact. Invariably, as soon as the first spoonful of moist msg-laden goo passes my lips I remember. Which isn’t altogether bad, as I can at least look forward to the meal ending and the bitching begining.

Link to gmap
Billy: 7
Eoin: 2

Glas
3 Park Street,
London,
SE1 9AB

Twas a special night for littl’ Billy. A reunion had been organised for our old workplace (for escapees and ‘those who remain’ both). So the little guy got to meet the people who discovered and christened him again. A momentous occasion.

We didn’t, and still don’t, know the area around London Bridge very well at all. Which may seem odd, as our main route into the city centre stops there. But, outisde of the occasional foray to the wonderful Borough Market (where fruit smoothies, ale, and whole bleeding deer vie for your consumer attention), it always seems like there isn’t a whole lot there. The walk between Tower Bridge and London Bridge along the South Bank is magical, and the eateries down by the Design Museum have rather magnificent views…. but, once you’ve done that, you’ve done it, and there isn’t much to bring your interest back again.

In that, it seems, I was mistaken.

One of our dining companions, from a larger than usual group had worked in the area around Borough Market a few years previously. He knew the area well and spun wonderous tales of cuisines and booze-joints to make littl’ Billy’s head spin.

We finally decided upon a Swedish dining establishment; Glas. Now… I don’t know Swedish food. Billy makes lewd claims about a student exchange programme he once went on; but I think he’s just making it up. My complete ignorance of the cuisine encouraged me to go.

The food is a tapas menu of sorts; very small portions of which you are advised to order two or three each. We ordered reindeer (twas Christmas after all), venison, vodka and lime fish (I was a bit drunk by this point… it was a white fish… hrrmmm), a fish soup, and a variety of vegtables. Testicles were also offered but I couldn’t summon up the courage by myself unless being dared or goaded into it, and no one had the heart (or perhaps the cruelty) to do so. The less adventurous among us had potatoes… very nice potatoes, but potatoes nonetheless. Which was fine; as it left more for the rest of us.

The meats were excellent; thick, succulent slices of rare meat. The Venison which came spiced and with liquorice jus was especially opulent. However; the portions were indeed too small to really savour it as a meal and the other offerings ,while interesting for novelty value, wouldn’t tempt us back.

In any case, a good night was had by all. As always with such reunions, it ended with tearful goodbyes and a drunken flight for the last train (which was mercifully attained); but it was a very enjoyable evening.

Eoin: 7 (just for the rare meat; probably 6 without)
Billy: 8 (though that might be because he had everyone else’s as well)
Click here for gmap

Bakko
172-174 Muswell Hill Broadway
London
N10 3SA

This was our first introduction to what will soon be our new area of London; the north east. We were delighted. Muswell Hill seems lovely and we’ll certaintly be reporting on more eateries in the area.

There’s a wonderful attention to detail, fun, and opulence! Just little things that make your meal far more enjoyable. Ordering a desert between two; it arrived neatly sliced, so Billy and I didn’t need to fight over it. Turkish coffee comes with a selection of Turkish delights.

The staff are attentive and good-humoured; cheeky but just on the right side of obnoxious (a fine line). A slight slip up by the waiter in delivering food is highlighted as comedy and adds to a very relaxed and welcoming atmosphere.

The food is fairly straight forward fair; we had kofte and iskander; both excellent, filling and fresh from the grill.

Very nice. Very nice indeed.

Billy: 7
Eoin: 7
Link to gmap here

22-24 Donnybrook Road
Donnybrook
Dublin 4
Ireland

Billy and I were back visiting the motherland some weeks ago and were brought to a new (well… new to us anyway, and that’s all that counts) eaterie called Yo Thai. It’s placed a fair distance from the city centre; so it’s an unlikely visit unless you live near the area. Which is unfortunate as it would, we feel, be better received around Grafton St or its environs.

Surprisingly, given the name, its real expertise is Japanese; sushi. Good sushi is not easy to come by in Dublin since Aya began to serve mashed potato and the occasional hamburger (WTF!!!) on its conveyor belts.

Yo Thai certainly seems incongruous for Donnybrook. It’s a fairly pleasant area; with beautiful Georgian residences and small greens and parks; but hardly known for its cuisine. This is one of two difficulties that Yo Thai has; exemplified by our going in a quiet family group on the night of a rugby game. Yo Thai is a large well-kept restaraunt over one of the larger pubs in the area, and was crowded to breaking point with tables of gregarious drunken lads laden with plates of chips and ketchup. Not in itself a bad thing if we were looking for a loud night out; but one generally doesn’t choose Japanese food for the singing drunken craic. We had to feel bad for the waiter who was forcibly pulled down to a table beside us to sing Happy Birthday, or another who had difficulty containing her distaste when delivering aprons/bibs to one table a moment too late…

The second problem with Yo Thai I’ll mention later.

The food came, course upon course upon course, and was of a very high standard. It was a set menu, selected by the main chef upon recognising one of our companions; a Japanese girl who had been there before. One of the most interesting things about Yo Thai is the flexibility and genuine enthusiasm of the chef; who will happily produce items not on the menu if requested and will even suggest such items if he feels the customer would appreciate them. We had excellent sashimi; tuna, sea bass and salmon. A very high quality of fish; cut into pieces thick enough to relish every bite. This was followed by steamed sea bass & pak choi in soy; onigiri; udon and miso and finally azuki bean ice cream, which is excellent.

The green tea was rejoiced even by littl’ Billy when it finally came to announce an end to the generous courses in the form of a much needed digestive aid.

The main chef, coincidentally also named Billy, is certainly the best and worst thing about the place simultaneously. Though, it should be stated immediately before going further; ‘worst’ for the best possible reasons.

He’s Thai and this certainly shows through in the menu and in the crisp tastes her serves. He also trained for a few years as a sushi chef in Japan. He’s incredibly enthusiastic about his customers (you feel more like an honoured guest), proud of the food he serves, and almost a floorshow in the whirlwind of smiles, laughs and chat he creates about the restaraunt. Like some crazed dervish delivering great food and a genuine smile to each and every table.

He is however, in doing so, one of the problems I think Yo Thai faces; Billy is stretched far too thinly in his workload. He engages in conversations that he is forced to cut short before they’ve really begun, his food gives the impression that he doesn’t quite achieve as highly as he could (this is meant as a compliment), and the menu is largely limited to dishes that can be quickly and efficiently prepared.

He’s aware of this and even apoligised several times while delivering genuinely fine fare. A new restaraunt and a menu were mentioned and we’re both very much looking forward to trying it out sometime in the New Year.

Eoin: 7
Billy: 9
Link to gmap here

The Freemason’s Arms
32 Downshire Hill,
Hampstead,
NW3 1NT

Neither Billy nor I had been to Hampstead Heath before. Billy claimed he holidayed in the area some ten years ago during a crazy hedonistic student binge weekend… but I’m not sure I believe him (luckily he rarely reads the blog, so probably won’t see that…).

The three of us ventured up on a Sunday afternoon, just to go somewhere different. It really is a lovely park. It’s large enough to actually be able to stretch your legs without just running around in circles desperately avoiding an exit. The view across London is truly spectacular and great for the inevitable “what’s that over there?” game. Very pleasant afternoon.

And a very pleasant pub. The Freemason’s Arms is quite a find; it’s one of those pubs you stumble across at just the right moment of thirst, hunger, and chill and are met with good food, good beer, and chatty good staff. The interior is very well decorate; bare stone walls with various Buddha statues and similar dotted throughout. It’s subtle enough to create a pleasant interesting atmosphere without falling into pretension.

The staff are very fast on their feet without seeming hurried (I think the word I’m searching for is competent). Billy was delighted at a good range of filling foods. What’s on offer is basically pub grub (mash potatoes, steak, pie, etc.) with a touch extra (some roast asparagus on the mash) which actually works very well. To be honest, for the price, I expected slightly something more flavoursome having ordered a seared tuna steak on a bed of crunchy asparagus and mash. But, it was perfectly fine.

The reason I would recommend the Freemason’s so highly is a combination of staff, atmosphere (noisy with people laughing and chatting; not music or flashing machines), and a great location (just at the edge of the park).

Eoin:7
Billy:9 (though, this is in the throes of illness so his appetite wasn’t all that it could be)
Super new special score for atmosphere: 9
Googlemap: here

Busaba
106-110 Wardour Street
Soho
London

Now, I’m going to be particulary vicious here as I once raved about this place. Many people have. It’s one of the those wonderful London places you discover and want everyone to know about. Food that’s the equal of that served in Thailand. Exciting and spicy dishes. Som Tam that singes the roof of your mouth and sharply pricks at your tastebuds, hot delicate soups and wonderful zingy drinks… This was an excellent establishment… was.

Neither Billy nor I had been there for a while. Billy mentioned that he had read Busaba had changed hands; it hadn’t occured to me that perhaps they had exchanged their chefs for rabid monkeys in the process.

We ordered very simple Thai fare: Pad thai (that stalwart dish) and Som Tam (the definitite taste of Bangkok; for Billy at least). It’s hard to mess up Pad Thai; I mean it’s basically stir-fried noodles using Thai seasonings. It’s hard to delibrately decide to use greying greasy meat for it. It’s difficult to see how one could arrive at the conclusion that it should be a tepid temperature. I’m not sure how one would believe that it should be entirely devoid of flavour. For me at least; when I have to reach for the soy bottle to drench my food; things are not as they should be.

The Som Tam drove a nail through my heart. It’s my favourite dish; bar none. I’ve very special memories of Som Tam vendors mashing and slicing madly on the kerbs in Bangkok to create this wonderful meal. Som Tam is simply green papaya, roasted nuts, and chillis (with other ingredients such as sugar, fish sauce, dried shrimp amd so on changing according with the chef); all shredded and mashed together. If you have the correct ingredients, it is a very simple dish to produce, that produces a wonderfully delicate searing sensation (if you think that sounds contradictory; shuddup). When it’s a handful of peanuts floating about a bowl full of watery fruit, it doesn’t inspire quite so well.

To close; the staff were incompetent (though very friendly while failing to complete one order correctly for anyone within earshot) and the lifeless muck presented as food was a tad disappointing. This was a treasure; now it’s a farce. I’ll go to MacDonald’s next time; where I’ll at least get exactly what I expect.

… Billy’s crying little wormy tears.

Eoin: 2
Billy: 4

Multimap: here

Del’Aziz
24-28 Vanston Place
Fulham
SW6 1AX

Hrrrmmmm…. not a lot to say about this place really; which I feel kinda bad about. It’s actually been a well over a week since we were there (I’ve backdated the timestamp) and I still can’t think of anything interesting to say.

In any case, we had built up quite a lot of tension in the week before (poor Billy’s appetite had only been sporadically voracious… poor little fella) and we had a present some time ago of a massage voucher; so off we went.

Billy did pretty well out of it; emerging with a mighty hunger. I did feel better afterward, but Christ, that was the most genuinely painful massage I’ve ever recieved. I spent an hour gritting my teeth and trying not to scream out loud. In future, when asked if I like hard or soft massages, I think going for the “oh, really hard would be good” would be an error. Likewise suggesting she “get in there and go for it” if she encounters any real pockets of resistance around my shoulders would, I feel, be a gross error of judgement. Speaking to her afterward; I had built up some serious knots and it did help a lot… I think taking up pilates might be in order.

Anyway, the food!!!!

Neither Billy nor I had been around Fulham before, so we felt it was a good opportunity to explore new vistas of eats. The three of us scouted about the area and entered into Del’Aziz as it served big chunky crusty ciabatta sandwiches which Billy had spotted from outside (observant wee fella). The interior (and exterior for that matter; it’s a pedestrianized street with lots of seats outside) is vibrant and interesting. It’s jammed full of big satisfyingly weighty wooden blocks for tables and chairs; all the food (most notably the deserts) are laid out in all their colourful splendour. Various metal teapots and earthenware bowls are also laid out for sale.. It’s quite the food branding experience. Like Starbucks but with some attempt made at authenticity.

Unfortunately, as it really is an interesting and lively place; nether the food nor the service are really up to much. We ordered roast lamb, feta, and random leaves in a ciabatta and chickpea salad (with a fantasic dressing) on the side. Our dining companion had a meatball stew in a flame-hued tomato sauce. It all looked fantastic, but.. the salad arrived sometime after the ciabatta (I had almost finished) and the stew arrived after that again. We were waiting quite some time for rather weak coffee as well. Again, it all looked great; big steaming litre bowls of coffee and stew served in attractive earthenware dishes… but the food was quite bland and lifeless. Actually, that’s unfair. The roast lamb was very good, but I was annoyed at waiting for so long. The stew and salad were both perfectly acceptable, if missed opportunities at making something more flavoursome.

All in all, it’s an above average place. I certainly wouldn’t travel to go there but, if I was in the area looking for a bite, I would certainly pop back in. Nice place. Nice, if a bit slow, staff. Nice for people-watching. Nice little street. Nice food. All very… nice.

Billy: 6
Eoin: 6

Multimap here

Where the Noodle is King!!

36 Deptford Broadway,
London,
SE8 4PQ

Now, I lived in Bethnal Green a year or so ago, and really liked the Noodle King there. I think the interior is partially, if not wholly, responsible. The one in Bethnal Green is fairly simple; just the usual noodle house benches, but fine. The Deptford branch feels a bit like you’re at a low cost Irish wedding 20 years ago in the community centre or town hall: not too bad, but vaguely depressing in some way you can’t quite put your finger on.

(Yes, I’m a snob. I’m okay with that).

Noodle King does deserve some praise however. It delivers unbelievably vast portions of food at a remarkably low price (there, I’ve remarked on it). Starters, main courses, and two beers each (my companion and I, Billy drinks half of mine) came to just £19. Which really can’t be scoffed at.

The service is friendly and efficient. You can stay as long as you like to mull over your paper, conversation or thoughts without being disturbed. I think, in context, it’s an excellent restaraunt. If you’re hungry and want neither to spend a lot, nor be kept waiting; it’s superb.

If you’re expecting good food however; you’re in trouble. Order the fried rice. Order the basic soups. Do not order the king prawn starter. Do not order the garlic and chilli dishes. Just order the kind of thing you would make yourself if you were skint, hurried, and you couldn’t be arsed with a serious trip to the shops and you won’t be disappointed.

Multimap: here
Billy: 9
Eoin: 4 (7 in the aforementioned context)

Abeno Too
15-18 Great Newport St,
WC2H 7JE
(020 7379 1160).

Really nice place this. We ate there quite a while ago and I’ve been waiting for an excuse to blog it. It’s a Japanese place and has a good selction of side orders (sashimi, edamame, etc.) but the main pull is really the GIANT OMLETTE PIZZA THINGS COVERED WITH FISH FLAKES.

They’re called Okonomi-yaki, and they’re fantastic.

They look a bit like this:

It’s a big heap of cabbage, egg, and ingredients of your choice (kimchi, bacon, squid, etc.) slapped on a hot plate (in the middle of your table) and lovingly cared for by your waiter until it’s reached perfection. Then you have the option of eating it plain, or having it covered with Japanese Mayonnaise, odd brown sauce, fish flakes and chilli sauce.

They’re a huge departure from the Japanese food I’m more accustomed to. I associate delicate flavours and light ingredients with Japanese cuisine; so I was surprised by these gigantic flavoursome pancakes.

It’s fairly well priced (about £8 for a large main course). The surroundings are nice; wooden benches (knee-bruisingly short, but it’s a small price to pay), good windows for people watching, and the oddest cheesiest music in the world (they played the title track from Halo and Banana Phone while we were there which, coincidentally, is my ringtone).

We would definitely recommend it as something a bit different for a change; that could well become a regular haunt.

Billy: 8 (kept Billy filled and happy for most of the Mayor’s Festival… well he got about an hour before eating a plate of curry.. just go for the super-deluxe option if you need to keep your Billy happy)
Eoin: 8 (though the food could get a tad repetitive which would lower the score over time)

Streetmap link here

Thai Chung (Thai)
8 Nelson Road, london , SE10 9JB
Tel:020 8858 8588

Billy was a bit the worse for wear after a conference week of stodgy potatoes and endless boiled chicken breast. Eoin wasn’t too happy about all of that, and he thinks Billy may have overdone it (yes, it can happen; as rare as hen’s teeth).

We arrived into Greenwich, with our companion; all desperate for something other than the competent tapa’s at which Greenwich excels and warily entered Thai Chung. We were hungry, with no appetite and no real urge for anything other than sustenance.. and were very pleasantly surprised.

The menu isn’t strictly just Thai; it borrows a few items from the Japanese, Korean and Malay, but borrows the best. We ordered tom yum for two, mixed tempura, kimchee (pickled cabbage served cold), and a Malaysian noodle salad that I’ve unfortunately forgotten the name of, and a few bottles of Singha.

The soup was excellent; served in one of those metal burner/bowls. Good portion so Billy was happy, and shared between two which always aids sociability. Kimchee was served in thick crisp slices of cabbage, very spicy and chilled just enough to nicely offset the soup. Tempura was good, though the batter was a tad too thick, which is a shame (though, to be fair, we were ordering Japanese food in a Thai restaurant). The Malay noodle salad conversely was very good; a nice lingering chilli burn and a good mix of shredded chicken and glass noodles.

All in all, I’ve had better Thai, but rarely. Very reasonably priced; the whole meal with drinks came to about £26. Staff were very friendly and efficient. It certainly makes a break from the endless tapas and pasties of Greenwich… not that I have anything against tapas or pasties you understand. No som tam which is a shame as it’s my favourite Thai dish, but that’s certainly made up for by good tom yum, which far too few Thai restaurants in London actually do as a main course.

Billy (a bit sleep today, so his scores are askew): 6 out of 10
Eoin: 7 out of 10

Thai Chung can be found here