Billy & Me Quest for Eats

26-27 Lisle Street, London, WC2H 7BA
Telephone: 0871 0752925

I’ve been reading Orbital by Ian Sinclair recently and so have decided to do this blog in the style of a near-random-train-of-thought. I’ll just keep typing for a few minutes and when I stop for more than 3 seconds I’ll post it up unedited. How exciting…

Searching for food through London’s cheaper options. Behind bars. Corridors of greying brick; having stood accepted for years are now upstaged by gaudier new rivals. Amongst the last of these narrow passages. Kintaro. Dodging black-cabs. Shuffling restuaranters. Chinatown’s attic where the backward cousins live. A bucket of fishheads a week. Sushi to our western palates. And all the more agreeable for it. Crammed seats. German sharp words hitting the ribs and nudging the headrest. Bento ordered and delivered. Wasabi hot. Miso revitalising. Mackerel swimming in sweet Terkiyaki like some Lea survivor pushing to the freedom of the Thames. Freedom just means you have no choices left. Tea and beer in equal quantities. The great bridge between East and West was beneath our feet all along!!! The bottoms of our glasses just obscured it. How were we to know; nurtured on Hawksmoor, Constantine and sarnies? This new wave no/know better. Memorising phonetic codes and suggestions to validate ties and shiny shoes. Asahi! Kirn! Stella!?!?!!?!! You know only compromise. But compromise is good enough surely; if the new natives do it. If their standards are trustworhty and they surely are then there is no argument. None. It passes all tests. Imported qualities of vim and vigour for our pallid euro forms. Beers offered to suit every adventure, every fear. Quantities for my invertebrate friend. Best Value!!! Recommended.

Billy: 6
Eoin: 8
Googlemap here

Papageno Restaurant
29-31 Wellington Street
London WC2E 7DB
Look for their map here: http://www.papagenorestaurant.com/contactus.htm

“It’s called chronic healing.. it’s all about meditation and your chakras; it’s very important to meditate every day” the words come repeated again and again and AGAIN from the table beside us… All delivered in the most ‘fingernails being drawn slowly over a blackboard’ of eastern US accents. Yet, even this (nor the slightly sinisiter extra from the Soprano’s eyeing my companion) can detract from the sheer opulent delight to be found in our surroundings.

Papageno is just plain fun.

Tacky gold wraps of material, gold painted exposed pipes, and sprayed gold classical instruments cleverly disguise peeling walls and filthy brickwork. It’s a delight visually.

… and the food ain’t bad either. I had the Big Boss Seafood Selection (I shit you not; I was the biggest boss of all) for starters with the Monkfish for my main course. It reminded me very much of Eastern European fare; very simple dishes served up to a reasonably good quality. Nothing particularly praiseworthy in either skill or innovation. I think the only thing that really bothers me about this style of food (which, to be fair, almost always leaves me satisfied) is that it can only ever be so good. New potatoes, monkfish and steamed vegtables reach their taste event horizon at a an early stage and, once the bill over-reaches that mark, I start getting annoyed.

Papageno cuts it very close but, with the surroundings being as ludicrous as they are, we can forgive it.

Billy: 7
Eoin: 7

The Delhi Brasserie
44 Frith Street
London
W1D 4SB

Well… you can’t beat the tableside entertainment at least…

Oddly the Europride festival was timed exactly alongside the England match in the World Cup. It was difficult to tell who was who as virtually everyone there was a barechested male skinhead… We took to spotting either Red Bull or Stella Artois in their hands, which was a reliable method. See: http://www.flickr.com/photos/waxydan/180575295/

The food that arrived was perfectly adaquete; prompt, plentiful and fairly tasty, as you can see…

… but nothing to really write home about.

So I won’t.

Billy: 6
Eoin: 5

I went in with some friends to see Cabaret last night in an open-air cinema.

It really does drive home how Liza Minnelli became such a star. She is, much like her character Sally, phenomenally talented. She has an engaging charisma onscreen. Her voice is astoundingly joyful and she raises laughs with just a quiver of an eyebrow or a wrinkle of her nose.

The venue, of course, accentuated the theatrics on screen. Scoop are running a series of open air events by Tower Bridge and, with the setting sun tinting the dramatic London skyline with pinks and golds, it’s a rather wonderful stage.

The crowd were very appreciative; singing along to the increasingly grotesque cabaret performances, but knowing just when the movie had finally turned that corner and was no longer suitable for camp karaoke. A slow uneasy silence settled over the initially rambunctious audience perfectly in step with the growing Nazi presence in the movie. Of course, the final number brought that lustful singing back from the crowd.

Go and rent it, it’s a wonderfully tragic film.

But… to bring it back on theme. The picnic!

If you happen to be in London Bridge station and you happen to be looking for a bag of snacks to nibble upon; head down the ground level and follow your noise to the food courtish area. There you will find a small stand selling dried foods. Dried Razchenberries (that have a peculiar taste reminiscent of a jellybaby made with real fruit), sugared mango strips, chocolate covered espresso beans and, best of all, chocolate covered stem ginger. Go, it’s rather tasty.

Littl’ Billy though was rather disappointed with the lack of either carbs or quantity. I couldn’t stand to see him like that, so cheered him up with fish, chips and mushy peas.

Eoin: 8
Billy: 2
Link to Googlemap: here

Mint in Streatham was a very pleasing find last Saturday night. Having recently moved into the area we haven’t really had much of a chance to explore as of yet. Poor litt’ Billy’s been gnarling and gnashing indignantly.

Oddly it seems that I’ve discovered one of the best kept secrets in London, or I imagined the entire evening. As the bar fails to make an appearance on beerinthe evening, fluidstyle, viewlondon or any of my usual mainstay sites. But this looks like the only mistake the management have made as everything else is spot on.

We arrvied back from the West End after a day of serious shopping. I always find shopping for glasses or shoes stressful and, having spent hours doing both, I was in the mood for beer, and a lot of it. Thankfully Mint provided.

We popped off the 159 early to see more of our new area; full of high hopes for Streatham High Street (recently voted the worst high street in Europe). We weren’t too dissappointed spying a few places to try out again: Bar 61, Perfect Blend and Chico’s among them.

Mint is simply a nice place with nice people. The staff are attentive, chatty and quick-witted and the customers seem chilled and good-humoured. Even the security carry out their job with inobtrusive efficiency and humour.

We order a steak sandwich. Always a risky venture as you’re never quite sure what will be served up to you. Billy was delighted as the meat came as steak always should; seared, rare and bloody. The large fleshy portobello mushroom and the thin layer of strong cheddar worked a treat.

A moment should also be taken for their cocktails (happy hour from 5 til 7). The aptly named Lychee Love Machine is composed of ground fresh lychees, lemongrass, something else that I’ve entirely forgotten, vodka and topped off with cinnamon bark. It’s an interesting and varied cocktail menu, and not too pricey.

In short, Mint is something Streatham needs; somewhere with good food and service with comfortable surrounds where you can sit, chat and relax.

On a tangent, I’ve read recently that Lambeth council plan to take action against the bar as its shopfront is breaking the conservation order placed on the area. I find this startling as the street is simply ugly: plain and simple. Rows of bookmakers, takeaways and franchise stores do little to add to local character. It would be something of a disgrace if one of the few businesses to add at least something to the appearance of the high street with well-designed and welcoming front was taken to court for its efforts.

Billy:7
Eoin:8
Location: As mentioned above, this bar is impossible to find online so I don’t have an address for it. You’ll find it on Streatham High Road, opposite Streatham Hill station.

I think this is a pub that deserves a lot more attention (though not too much; then Billy might not get through the crowds to get his Friday night feeding).

In an area often derided from being devoid of any daring dens of.. okay, I’ve run of of ‘d’ words… New Cross isn’t exactly famed for its tempting array of eateries and bars. To be fair, that’s not without reason; the A2 snakes through the area covering everything with a thick lair of soot. Many of the shop-fronts on the street are boarded up and there’s always some hassle by the train stations. In New Cross, the sirens never stop.

But, I have to point out, having lived there for well over a year; there are some fantastic places to go and things to see. While, you might have to put more work into finding them then you would in Brick Lane or similar; I’ve found that there are often of more genuine worth and sincerity. Whether a gallery, a cafe, a market, or, in this case, a pub.

The Walpole is, simply put, a bloody good pub.

On a Friday evening, you can usually get a seat with after a short wait at the bar. On a Sunday you can stroll in and there’s still some hustle and bustle to keep you alive and entertained. The crowd’s a great mix of students from Goldsmiths across the road, market traders and locals. There may even be a gig on and, should it be the guy we saw a week or so ago, you’d be very lucky. Somewhat reminiscent of Billy Bragg, the singer-songwriter had string of lyrics both cynical and loving of the area.

The food is unusual in two distinct ways: 1) it’s New Cross and it hasn’t been deep-fried and 2) it’s thai food and it’s varied and good. We’ve had chicken-on-a-stick with satay (good sauce; rich and nutty), pad thai (the thai staple; served hot, very spicy, and with that fresh bite that Thai food should always have), green curry (this, frankly, wasn’t all that hot), and beef fried in basil (which was excellent). I’ve been served far worse in Bangkok… and I was never served bad food in Bangkok.

Billy: 6
Eoin: 8
Locations:
407 New Cross Road
SE14 6LA
Google it here

(Image is stolen from http://www.fancyapint.com/main, sorry guys).

Wong Kei’s
41-43 Wardour Street
London
W1D 6PY

“No visit to London is complete without at least one visit to the Wong Kei.”: Rob - Monday, December 05, 2005

“I have been coming to this restaurant on and off for nearly 30 years. “: David Gower - Tuesday, November 15, 2005

“If you go to London, you can forget to visit Buchingam Palace, Trafalgar Square or Downing Street,but you can’t forget to visit Wong Key Restaurant”#: Andrea - Saturday, November 12, 2005

“The best chinese restaurant. I eat in wong key restaurant a lot of time when I lived in London”: Andrea - Saturday, November 12, 2005

(quotes taken from http://www.london-eating.co.uk/2971.htm)

“All of the above people are idiots” Billy. 12/01/2006

I’ve been told Wong Kei’s is something of a London institution. One of those famous places that you bring your out-of-town mates too as a London novelty. You know, like the Eye, or the Tate Modern, or Brick Lane, or some Soho back alley mired with cat urine, smelly leaking bin bags, and a plate of what could somewhere be termed food… ‘cause really you may as well go there rather than pay for anything in Chinatown.

The rudeness of the staff, I’m told with good authority, is an amusing side to eating here. I haven’t found the staff to be particularly rude; just as bored and dismissive as in most other establishments in Chinatown. Certainly not rude enough to be unique and definitely not enough to entertain.

The food is dull and tasteless. I do like my soya and chilli condiments, but shouldn’t have to rely on them so heavily. So why do I keep going back? There is a simple reason as to why I enjoy eating in Chinatown (and no, it’s never been the food); it’s that I get to rant and bitch about it for months after the fetid experience. Unfortunately, when I’ve had a few and I’m in the area and peckish (and for some unknown reason can’t find Misato) I forget this simple fact. Invariably, as soon as the first spoonful of moist msg-laden goo passes my lips I remember. Which isn’t altogether bad, as I can at least look forward to the meal ending and the bitching begining.

Link to gmap
Billy: 7
Eoin: 2

A very short entry; it’s not a particularly interesting story. It’s just to highlight a pub that we think is rather nice and serves rather nice food in an area that is largely devoid of such. Also it gets slated on beerintheevening and we think the entries are a bit unfair.

The menu is a fairly basic pub food menu; meat and chicken dishes. They do however succeed in that one criterion that so many fail to even realise is important; simple food is fantastic if you just use good ingredients.

We had:
Italiano Chicken. Described as “chicken breast wrapped in bacon”; it rather impressed our companion as being wonderful moist roast chicken wrapped in crisped parma ham.

Lamb shank was excellent; the meat strongly flavoured and waiting to fall from the bone and into my belly where Billy waited with great expectations.

It’s an area where it can very difficult to find anything at all nice to eat (unless you really do enjoy the endless mediocre tapas of Greenwich village). It can be difficult to find a nice pub where the television doesn’t blare out over your every word. It can certainly be very difficult to find a quiet table on a Saturday night. The Guildford Arms provided all of these and, for anyone living in the area, it’s a hidden treasure for doing so.

Eoin: 7
Billy: 8
Extra super new score for general niceness: 8
Link to gmap here

Glas
3 Park Street,
London,
SE1 9AB

Twas a special night for littl’ Billy. A reunion had been organised for our old workplace (for escapees and ‘those who remain’ both). So the little guy got to meet the people who discovered and christened him again. A momentous occasion.

We didn’t, and still don’t, know the area around London Bridge very well at all. Which may seem odd, as our main route into the city centre stops there. But, outisde of the occasional foray to the wonderful Borough Market (where fruit smoothies, ale, and whole bleeding deer vie for your consumer attention), it always seems like there isn’t a whole lot there. The walk between Tower Bridge and London Bridge along the South Bank is magical, and the eateries down by the Design Museum have rather magnificent views…. but, once you’ve done that, you’ve done it, and there isn’t much to bring your interest back again.

In that, it seems, I was mistaken.

One of our dining companions, from a larger than usual group had worked in the area around Borough Market a few years previously. He knew the area well and spun wonderous tales of cuisines and booze-joints to make littl’ Billy’s head spin.

We finally decided upon a Swedish dining establishment; Glas. Now… I don’t know Swedish food. Billy makes lewd claims about a student exchange programme he once went on; but I think he’s just making it up. My complete ignorance of the cuisine encouraged me to go.

The food is a tapas menu of sorts; very small portions of which you are advised to order two or three each. We ordered reindeer (twas Christmas after all), venison, vodka and lime fish (I was a bit drunk by this point… it was a white fish… hrrmmm), a fish soup, and a variety of vegtables. Testicles were also offered but I couldn’t summon up the courage by myself unless being dared or goaded into it, and no one had the heart (or perhaps the cruelty) to do so. The less adventurous among us had potatoes… very nice potatoes, but potatoes nonetheless. Which was fine; as it left more for the rest of us.

The meats were excellent; thick, succulent slices of rare meat. The Venison which came spiced and with liquorice jus was especially opulent. However; the portions were indeed too small to really savour it as a meal and the other offerings ,while interesting for novelty value, wouldn’t tempt us back.

In any case, a good night was had by all. As always with such reunions, it ended with tearful goodbyes and a drunken flight for the last train (which was mercifully attained); but it was a very enjoyable evening.

Eoin: 7 (just for the rare meat; probably 6 without)
Billy: 8 (though that might be because he had everyone else’s as well)
Click here for gmap

Bakko
172-174 Muswell Hill Broadway
London
N10 3SA

This was our first introduction to what will soon be our new area of London; the north east. We were delighted. Muswell Hill seems lovely and we’ll certaintly be reporting on more eateries in the area.

There’s a wonderful attention to detail, fun, and opulence! Just little things that make your meal far more enjoyable. Ordering a desert between two; it arrived neatly sliced, so Billy and I didn’t need to fight over it. Turkish coffee comes with a selection of Turkish delights.

The staff are attentive and good-humoured; cheeky but just on the right side of obnoxious (a fine line). A slight slip up by the waiter in delivering food is highlighted as comedy and adds to a very relaxed and welcoming atmosphere.

The food is fairly straight forward fair; we had kofte and iskander; both excellent, filling and fresh from the grill.

Very nice. Very nice indeed.

Billy: 7
Eoin: 7
Link to gmap here

The Alexandra Bar and Eating House
376 Seven Sisters Road,
London,
N4 2PQ

Very mediocre pub. Not too bad, but nothing really to recommend it either.

Nice staff (though 5 minutes for two beers when there are no other customers is a bit much; also just dropping them on one end of the bar and not telling us they’re there, when we’re sitting by the bar, was also none too welcoming).

Full of irritating little wideboy-wannabes. Group of 5 or 6 lads kept pushing around the very small bar, calling to each other, and opening all the doors on a really cold night; pretending to look for dealers/customers. Ch*v w*nkers.

Though, to be fair, pretty good thai food at a very reasonable price. Served very promptly from an interesing menu. Unfortunately, the slightly-too-loud crap dance music didn’t exactly add extra spice to the meal.

Link to gmap
Billy: 5
Eoin: 4 (lost a point or two for atmosphere)

The Salisbury, Harringay
1 Grand Parade,
Green Lanes,
London,
N4 1JX

Very very very nice pub.

We headed in on a cold night after a long long day and received a warm welcome in this warm comfortable environment. The pub itself could easily veer toward the ostentatious on account of the impressive ironwork over the door and roomy wooden rooms. But friendly staff (made all the more obvious by how many regulars they knew the names and regular drinks of) certainly produce an excellent pub.

Food was quite good. It can be hard to find good mussels in London pubs and I wasn’t disappointed. Just a personal preference; I’m not a big fan of a white sauce on seafood.

Link to gmap

Billy: 8
Eoin: 6

The Freemason’s Arms
32 Downshire Hill,
Hampstead,
NW3 1NT

Neither Billy nor I had been to Hampstead Heath before. Billy claimed he holidayed in the area some ten years ago during a crazy hedonistic student binge weekend… but I’m not sure I believe him (luckily he rarely reads the blog, so probably won’t see that…).

The three of us ventured up on a Sunday afternoon, just to go somewhere different. It really is a lovely park. It’s large enough to actually be able to stretch your legs without just running around in circles desperately avoiding an exit. The view across London is truly spectacular and great for the inevitable “what’s that over there?” game. Very pleasant afternoon.

And a very pleasant pub. The Freemason’s Arms is quite a find; it’s one of those pubs you stumble across at just the right moment of thirst, hunger, and chill and are met with good food, good beer, and chatty good staff. The interior is very well decorate; bare stone walls with various Buddha statues and similar dotted throughout. It’s subtle enough to create a pleasant interesting atmosphere without falling into pretension.

The staff are very fast on their feet without seeming hurried (I think the word I’m searching for is competent). Billy was delighted at a good range of filling foods. What’s on offer is basically pub grub (mash potatoes, steak, pie, etc.) with a touch extra (some roast asparagus on the mash) which actually works very well. To be honest, for the price, I expected slightly something more flavoursome having ordered a seared tuna steak on a bed of crunchy asparagus and mash. But, it was perfectly fine.

The reason I would recommend the Freemason’s so highly is a combination of staff, atmosphere (noisy with people laughing and chatting; not music or flashing machines), and a great location (just at the edge of the park).

Eoin:7
Billy:9 (though, this is in the throes of illness so his appetite wasn’t all that it could be)
Super new special score for atmosphere: 9
Googlemap: here

Busaba
106-110 Wardour Street
Soho
London

Now, I’m going to be particulary vicious here as I once raved about this place. Many people have. It’s one of the those wonderful London places you discover and want everyone to know about. Food that’s the equal of that served in Thailand. Exciting and spicy dishes. Som Tam that singes the roof of your mouth and sharply pricks at your tastebuds, hot delicate soups and wonderful zingy drinks… This was an excellent establishment… was.

Neither Billy nor I had been there for a while. Billy mentioned that he had read Busaba had changed hands; it hadn’t occured to me that perhaps they had exchanged their chefs for rabid monkeys in the process.

We ordered very simple Thai fare: Pad thai (that stalwart dish) and Som Tam (the definitite taste of Bangkok; for Billy at least). It’s hard to mess up Pad Thai; I mean it’s basically stir-fried noodles using Thai seasonings. It’s hard to delibrately decide to use greying greasy meat for it. It’s difficult to see how one could arrive at the conclusion that it should be a tepid temperature. I’m not sure how one would believe that it should be entirely devoid of flavour. For me at least; when I have to reach for the soy bottle to drench my food; things are not as they should be.

The Som Tam drove a nail through my heart. It’s my favourite dish; bar none. I’ve very special memories of Som Tam vendors mashing and slicing madly on the kerbs in Bangkok to create this wonderful meal. Som Tam is simply green papaya, roasted nuts, and chillis (with other ingredients such as sugar, fish sauce, dried shrimp amd so on changing according with the chef); all shredded and mashed together. If you have the correct ingredients, it is a very simple dish to produce, that produces a wonderfully delicate searing sensation (if you think that sounds contradictory; shuddup). When it’s a handful of peanuts floating about a bowl full of watery fruit, it doesn’t inspire quite so well.

To close; the staff were incompetent (though very friendly while failing to complete one order correctly for anyone within earshot) and the lifeless muck presented as food was a tad disappointing. This was a treasure; now it’s a farce. I’ll go to MacDonald’s next time; where I’ll at least get exactly what I expect.

… Billy’s crying little wormy tears.

Eoin: 2
Billy: 4

Multimap: here

Vue Cinema Islington
36 Parkfield Street
Islington
N1 0PS

HOT DOGS, Ar-mour HOT DOGS
What kind of kids love Ar-mour HOT DOGS?
Big kids, lit-tle kids, kids who climb on rocks
fat kids, skin-ny kids, ev-en kids with chicken pox
love HOT DOGS, Ar-mour HOT DOGS
The dogs kids love to bite!

[Revised Version] Circa 1968

Going to see Land of the Dead…. Vue’s hotdogs certainly help me relate to the characters….

It was almost a Wagnerian experience.

Googlemap: here
Billy:7
Eoin:3