Billy & Me Quest for Eats

The Dicken’s Inn in St Katherine’s Docks

To be fair, before we start slapping this pub about the face, we should lay out the context. When I first came to London (when I were a wee lad, and Billy hadn’t even learned to wiggle), I went to Katherine’s Docks and was gobsmacked. I hadn’t travelled much at all, and this lovely mess of water and walkways, bars and ships really grabbed my imagination. I returned a few years later with some friends, on an absolutely wonderful weekend of debauchery, had drinks and chats in this flower-laden pub in the sun. So, to be fair, when I revisited this spot today… it could never live up to the memories I had.

… though also, to be fair, the food and the service are shit.

It’s always empty inside and with good reason. The outside area is actually lovely on a sunny day. The exterior of this three floor wooden building is covered with bright cheery flowers flowing over the solid balconies and mezzanines. It has a large interior bar on the ground floor, a pizzeria and a full restaraunt on the second and third stories.

But the food and service are shit.

It has big wide windows, affording striking views of the Tower of London, that are great for people watching. It’s in a great location far from the sounds of London traffic and should be a relaxing location to meet mates, have some nosh and slowly reach a very satisfying state of inebriation.

… But the food and service are shit.

On a Sunday afternoon, most of the menu wasn’t available. What was on offer was either cold and jelly-filled meat pie, a rather soggy cold quiche, or a roast that looked like it was left over from the week before. The staff were unhelpful and aggressive (moreso with each other than with the customers admitedly; the barman took a break from my order to shout at the top of his voice some entirely intelligible at the floor staff, before walking off and shouting at another barman to serve me).

The beer was poorly poured (and, y’know it’s not that hard to pull a pint), the food wasn’t even stodgy enough to interest Billy (and Billy’s interest would be piqued by a fried rat), and the staff ill-mannered.

It’s a shame as it is a lovely building and it does have great views, but… the food and service are shit.

Multimap: here

Billy: 4
Eoin: 3

Where the Noodle is King!!

36 Deptford Broadway,
London,
SE8 4PQ

Now, I lived in Bethnal Green a year or so ago, and really liked the Noodle King there. I think the interior is partially, if not wholly, responsible. The one in Bethnal Green is fairly simple; just the usual noodle house benches, but fine. The Deptford branch feels a bit like you’re at a low cost Irish wedding 20 years ago in the community centre or town hall: not too bad, but vaguely depressing in some way you can’t quite put your finger on.

(Yes, I’m a snob. I’m okay with that).

Noodle King does deserve some praise however. It delivers unbelievably vast portions of food at a remarkably low price (there, I’ve remarked on it). Starters, main courses, and two beers each (my companion and I, Billy drinks half of mine) came to just £19. Which really can’t be scoffed at.

The service is friendly and efficient. You can stay as long as you like to mull over your paper, conversation or thoughts without being disturbed. I think, in context, it’s an excellent restaraunt. If you’re hungry and want neither to spend a lot, nor be kept waiting; it’s superb.

If you’re expecting good food however; you’re in trouble. Order the fried rice. Order the basic soups. Do not order the king prawn starter. Do not order the garlic and chilli dishes. Just order the kind of thing you would make yourself if you were skint, hurried, and you couldn’t be arsed with a serious trip to the shops and you won’t be disappointed.

Multimap: here
Billy: 9
Eoin: 4 (7 in the aforementioned context)

Went to the mayor’s festival last night (well, last Sunday now that I’ve finally gotten around to publishing this) on the South Bank. Which was very enjoyable. The night carnival by Waterloo was fantastic, amazing costumes and moving metal sculpture thingies. The fireworks were great as well. So all good.

I don’t know what it is about these things that the food is always just…. nearly… halfway-decent. It’s never just plain terrible, it’s always just…. okay… I mean, Squarepie have stalls, why not here??? No Mr. Coffee; “He’s so Frothy” stand set up!!? Where were the really good London travelling food people that we know and love so very much???

To be fair, as we walked down as far as the Tate; we began to pass by some fantastic looking Slovkian food, Brazillian donuts (one reason I miss Roman Road so…), and a great fudge stall. But Billy has narky; so speed was an issue.

Our companions for the evening remarked that it was no great surprise that Billy and I were writing this blog when, from across the Thames at Embankment, I wrinkled my nose and exclaimed”Ooh! They’re selling bbq chicken over by the Eye, we should head over there!”.

The queue at the ubiquitous jerk chicken stand was, unfortunately, at least a mile long (which, upon looking at what else was on offer was no surprise). A poor choice of Indian (with no curry or dahl), Oriental (chow mein, blackbean, yadda yadda) and Mediterranean bread… I settled for Thai green curry in the end and it was just dull. Which infuriates me, as it doesn’t even make for a good story. If it was terrible I could really let loose at the keyboard but “dull”!!!!

In any case, the moral in the tale became clear; as satisfied customers headed away with their jerked chickens and one of our companions arrived back from the food stall with a toasted feta and sundried tomato paninni (no mention of that our their understated sign!): be patient and observant and good food will come naturally.

Multimap: link
Billy: 7
Eoin: 3

Abeno Too
15-18 Great Newport St,
WC2H 7JE
(020 7379 1160).

Really nice place this. We ate there quite a while ago and I’ve been waiting for an excuse to blog it. It’s a Japanese place and has a good selction of side orders (sashimi, edamame, etc.) but the main pull is really the GIANT OMLETTE PIZZA THINGS COVERED WITH FISH FLAKES.

They’re called Okonomi-yaki, and they’re fantastic.

They look a bit like this:

It’s a big heap of cabbage, egg, and ingredients of your choice (kimchi, bacon, squid, etc.) slapped on a hot plate (in the middle of your table) and lovingly cared for by your waiter until it’s reached perfection. Then you have the option of eating it plain, or having it covered with Japanese Mayonnaise, odd brown sauce, fish flakes and chilli sauce.

They’re a huge departure from the Japanese food I’m more accustomed to. I associate delicate flavours and light ingredients with Japanese cuisine; so I was surprised by these gigantic flavoursome pancakes.

It’s fairly well priced (about £8 for a large main course). The surroundings are nice; wooden benches (knee-bruisingly short, but it’s a small price to pay), good windows for people watching, and the oddest cheesiest music in the world (they played the title track from Halo and Banana Phone while we were there which, coincidentally, is my ringtone).

We would definitely recommend it as something a bit different for a change; that could well become a regular haunt.

Billy: 8 (kept Billy filled and happy for most of the Mayor’s Festival… well he got about an hour before eating a plate of curry.. just go for the super-deluxe option if you need to keep your Billy happy)
Eoin: 8 (though the food could get a tad repetitive which would lower the score over time)

Streetmap link here

The Lamb and Flag

24 St James Street
London
W1U 1EQ

“The Lamb comforts you and the Flag salutes you!”… or something like that. I was rather drunk at the time and can’t quite remember what the blackboard (sorry! chalkboard) exclaimed.

Billy and I were meeting a mate from our old work place (I say “our”, all Billy ever worked at there was pasty-consumption). By coincidence, this particular friend was the person who first suggested Billy’s existence and who most celebrates his ravenous appetitites.

We were exhausted (having been kept awake half the night by a gymnastic mouse who kept scaling our curtains only to fling himself bodily to the wooden floor… furry little git), but delighted to meet up again in St. Christopher’s Place. Friday night by Bond Street and we, after a perfectly acceptable wait, had a table to ourselves in a rather nice pub. Wood panelled walls and a fair selection of beers. Staff who can pour Guinness and smile. Not too bad at all.

Food is a familiar menu for pub grub in the area; pastas, baked potatoes, roasts and… Pies!! Seeing as the dinner was, in some ways in Billy’s honour, Pies seemed most appropriate.

I selected the special Pie of the evening; a beef and ale Pie served with mashed potatoes and vegtables; our companion for the evening ordered a similar dish but with chicken and bacon Pie.

The meal was a good size of filling stodgy food (Billy was delighted, doing little wormy somersaults). The spuds and veg were covered in a good portion of a nice mild gravy. The mash was real potato; very creamy and ‘moreish’ (damn, I can’t believe I just used that word), but a little on the tepid side. Veg were fine; but I think it wouldn’t have hurt too much to have looked in a market rather than a fridge. But… onto the Pie. Good think pastry, thick dark sauce, big chewy chunks of beef… Not too bad at all.

Not great, but none too bad; especially considering the location. I’ll certainly be going back (to Billy’s delight).

Billy: 8 out of 10
Eoin: 6 out of 10

Multimap link here

O’Conor Don
88 Marylebone Lane, , LONDON, W1
Tel. 08713326389

Billy’s still surprisingly quiet from last week… poor little fella. He stuck his head up briefly to holler for food as I left work; so a ‘ham and cheese melt’ bagel was procured on the way out. We were meeting a friend for a poetry reading in Marleybone. Which seemed good, but it was too hot and we were too tired to stay standing. Which was a shame.

But we discovered a new area in the process, and both Billy and I are delighted at it’s possibilities. It’s called Christopher’s Place, and it’s hidden just off Oxford St. It’s an area that has confounded me a thousand times over while searching for a snack and/or a pint at the end of scouring sales. So finding streets chocked full of food vendors offering all varieties of treats was cause enough to rejoice.

We were searching for pub grub and were directed to the O’Connor Don. Nice place and, oddly, it even seems like a real Irish pub (which makes a welcome change from O’Neills; which still makes me want to flay myself with a rusty spoon whenever I pass one by). Very friendly staff, a genuinely good pint of Guinness and competent food. Not great, but competent. I had a Caesar salad with anchovies. Tad too heavy on the sauce and not a lot in there bar lettuce. The boiled egg on the side I assume was to ‘Irish it up’ a little.

The sandwiches and sausage and mash our companions had seemed, likewise, competent. Nothing special, but perfectly reasonable. But, to be fair, very nice surroundings and it being none too crowded (this was a Tuesday night though), made for a pleasant chat about torturing mice in some bizarre Fight Club scenario in university courses, cadaver harvesting, trekking in Siberia and excusing flatulence by blaming the volcanoes and holiday plans.

Billy: 5 out of 10
Eoin: 5 out of 10

Multimap link here

The New Globe pub in Mile End.

Link

Nice pub; always quite empty whenever I’ve been there (which is both good and bad I suppose). I’ve been told it can get very crowded with vomiting students by night though (but I have to point out; that I lived in the area for a few years and never witnessed such debauchery). I work nearby, so am starting to frequent the Globe whenever Billy gets angsty. Their brunch special usually seems to placate him for a few short hours.

For £3.50 you also can get:

• One fried egg
• One portion of chips (either really rather nice, or soaked through with grease depending on which member of staff is in the kitchen behind the bar)
• Two fairly good sausages
• One portion of beans
• Two pretty good slices of bacon

Coffee really ain’t too good. It’s pub coffee; so if you don’t expect too much, you won’t be dissappointed.

Rather nice and one of the only places in the area you can get this type of lunch in a pleasant environment. The staff have always been friendly, and the pub itself is a bright wooden interior by the canal (so you can even go for a stroll afterward if you’re so inclined).

Multimap link

Billy: 7 out of 10
Eoin: 7 out of 10 (remember marks are relative to the type of food)

Thai Chung (Thai)
8 Nelson Road, london , SE10 9JB
Tel:020 8858 8588

Billy was a bit the worse for wear after a conference week of stodgy potatoes and endless boiled chicken breast. Eoin wasn’t too happy about all of that, and he thinks Billy may have overdone it (yes, it can happen; as rare as hen’s teeth).

We arrived into Greenwich, with our companion; all desperate for something other than the competent tapa’s at which Greenwich excels and warily entered Thai Chung. We were hungry, with no appetite and no real urge for anything other than sustenance.. and were very pleasantly surprised.

The menu isn’t strictly just Thai; it borrows a few items from the Japanese, Korean and Malay, but borrows the best. We ordered tom yum for two, mixed tempura, kimchee (pickled cabbage served cold), and a Malaysian noodle salad that I’ve unfortunately forgotten the name of, and a few bottles of Singha.

The soup was excellent; served in one of those metal burner/bowls. Good portion so Billy was happy, and shared between two which always aids sociability. Kimchee was served in thick crisp slices of cabbage, very spicy and chilled just enough to nicely offset the soup. Tempura was good, though the batter was a tad too thick, which is a shame (though, to be fair, we were ordering Japanese food in a Thai restaurant). The Malay noodle salad conversely was very good; a nice lingering chilli burn and a good mix of shredded chicken and glass noodles.

All in all, I’ve had better Thai, but rarely. Very reasonably priced; the whole meal with drinks came to about £26. Staff were very friendly and efficient. It certainly makes a break from the endless tapas and pasties of Greenwich… not that I have anything against tapas or pasties you understand. No som tam which is a shame as it’s my favourite Thai dish, but that’s certainly made up for by good tom yum, which far too few Thai restaurants in London actually do as a main course.

Billy (a bit sleep today, so his scores are askew): 6 out of 10
Eoin: 7 out of 10

Thai Chung can be found here

Hi, welcome to Billy and Me’s (Waxy_Dan) blog. While working as teacher I discovered an amazing ability to comsume huuuuuuge amounts of food in order to stay standing during 12 hour days. Working late (in the pub) one night my workmates decided that no one this skinny could possibly digest so much: so there must be another force at work. They reckoned on a tapeworm which I christianed ‘Billy’.

It seemed a good way to judge restaurants and cafes by rating it according to Billy and Me (”Billy gives 8 for portions, Eoin gives 3 for taste”, and so on). Follow our adventures as we eat our way across London (and sometimes further afield) questing for that magic 10/10 score.